


Mr. and Mr. Macarena

by psychi



Category: Eureka
Genre: Awkward Dancing, Crack, Gen, Humor, Men's Room, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-13
Updated: 2011-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-22 14:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychi/pseuds/psychi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to "Unpredictable" (Season 2, Episode 3).  Written in 2007.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. and Mr. Macarena

Jack zipped himself up just as someone behind him started humming the Macarena.

“Oh God,” he groaned and walked over to the sink in the men’s restroom.

“Ehhh Macarena!”

“Will you get off that?”

Jack washed his hands and looked at Nathan’s reflection in the mirror.

“No,” Nathan grinned. “I don’t think I will.”

“It was one stupid dance contest on one stupid cruise.”

“I want to see it.”

“What?”

Nathan stared at him, arms crossed.

Jack dried his hands and then turned back around to face Stark mano a mano. “No.”

“Oh come one, I won’t say another word about it if I can see the winning performance.”

“Here?”

“Uh huh.”

Jack couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“No one’s in here but us.”

He laughed again. “No.”

“I’ll do it with you.”

“You’re joking.”

“Oh no,” Nathan said with a straight face. “I do a mean Macarena.”

Jack looked him up and down, trying to decide whether Nathan was serious or not. They held each others gaze for what seemed like forever, neither backing down.

“Please,” Nathan finally broke, voice deep and gravelly.

It jarred something in Jack he’d rather not think about. He sighed and went to lock the bathroom door. Nathan looked positively giddy.

“What happens here doesn’t leave this room,” Jack warned him.

“I wouldn’t dream of telling a soul.”

“And you’re doing it with me!”

“Sure.”

Jack rocked back on his heels and then held out each arm, one by one, with palms facing down, and then froze. “I can’t do this without music and you haven’t moved.”

Nathan put each arm out, mirroring Jack and started humming again. Jack had just started to sing along and dance a little awkwardly when the door rattled, causing him to jump. He looked back at Nathan and then down at himself, flushing red with embarrassment. “This is ridiculous.”

Nathan snickered.

“You’ve got a video camera in here, don’t you?”

“No”, Nathan replied, and then started to laugh earnestly. He lent against the sinks and held his stomach. “But I really should have recorded that.”

“Hey, you were dancing too!” Jack pointed out.

The door rattled again.

“But you were funnier.” He was turning red in the face. Nathan wiped his eyes and smoothed down the front of his shirt.

“What’s going on in here?” Vincent barged in and then stopped in his tracks and held up his hand. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

Taggart rushed in behind Vincent, sidled up to one of the urinals and sighed loudly. Nathan made a face.

“What do you mean, you don’t want to know?” Jack asked, confused.

Vincent turned a nice bright pink, but didn't answer. Taggart finished up and washed his hands.

It took a moment to dawn on Jack what Vincent thought. “You don’t think that we were…? That I would…?” Jack turned to look at Nathan smirking at him. “With him?”

“I’m not asking,” Vincent replied, “so don’t tell. Just so the two of you know, your wives are looking for you.”

“Ex-wife,” they replied in unison.

Taggart turned on the hand dryer.

Jack did a double take. “Really? Since when?”

Nathan looked back at him sternly. “Last Thursday. And don’t go seeing it as an invitation Carter, because it’s not.”

Taggart stopped on his way out of the restroom, holding the door open. “Oh for heaven's sake Stark, you have bathroom sex with the good Sheriff and you won’t even let him get his hopes up for a little something more. Take him out to dinner or whatever it is you do and make an honest man out of him!”

The door slammed shut. Jack stood in shock as gasps and laughter from the party drifted into the restroom and he realized a lot of people on the other side of that door had heard Taggart.

“He did not just say that?”

“Oh yes. Yes, he did.” Vincent replied.

“Out loud?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Nathan muttered in an equal state of shock.

“Not if I get to him first.”

Nathan snorted. Then he got that look on his face that said Nathan had just realized something and straightened up, holding his arm out and gesturing towards the door. “No, you’re right Sheriff – after you.”

“Oh no, no, no…no.” Jack looked at Vincent with his most pathetic expression. “Tell me there’s a back exit to this place.”

“To the men’s restroom?” Vincent shook his head in sympathy. “Not unless you count that window up there?”

Jack and Nathan looked at it hopefully.

“I could fit through that,” Nathan commented.

“We’d just have to stand on the toilet,” Jack replied in agreement.

“Are you two really that cowardly?” Vincent asked.

“Well what would you do if when you went through that door, you'd have to face the whole town thinking you’d slept with him?” Jack crooked his thumb back to indicate Nathan.

“I’d wear my ‘I had sex with Nathan Stark. Ask me how it was.’ t-shirt.”

Jack opened his mouth and then closed it with an audible clacking of teeth.

“He is kind of fine!”

Nathan climbed up on the back of the toilet, somehow looking smug and entirely too put together as he wiggled through the window.

Jack took out his wallet and handed Vincent a twenty. “Here’s some cab money for Abby and Zoë.”

“Tell me you weren’t eying his rear end just then,” Vincent said in a half whispered, conspiring tone.

Jack sputtered. “I was looking at the window. It was the only thing sticking out!”

Vincent raised both eyebrows.

“Oh, forget this,” Jack muttered and hoisted himself up on top of the toilet, then through the window.


End file.
